Write instructions on how best to climb a cactus.

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by : Lisa
237 words 1 Comment

So, you want to climb a cactus? Before you do, consider these things:

First, how sturdy is it? Why do you want to climb it? Is there a tasty cactus fruit at the top? Or, do you just want to know the rush of cactus climbing?

Once you have decided why you want to climb the cactus, and if it is safe enough to do so, you will need to prepare the proper attire. Put on safety goggles (a ski mask works fine), as well as a thick pair of gloves (preferably the kinds welders or astronauts wear), knee pads and elbow pads (essential to joint safety) and a pair of rubber-soled shoes. That way they just kind of stick to the thorns and help propel you upwards.

Now that you are fully prepared mentally and physically to climb the cactus, you will need to re-assess the cactus to figure out how to get up there. If the cactus is straight up and down, you will need to climb it in the same fashion that young children climb coconut trees in the Polynesian Islands. If it has “branches” you can hop from branch to branch all the way to the top.

Ultimately, how you climb the cactus will be determined by your personal climbing style and knowledge of how to scale an object. But whatever the size and shape of your cactus, never try to climb it unprepared!

1 Comment

  • Find out why you are climbing the cactus
    Figure out if that reason is worth the pain of climbing the cactus
    Get a ladder and a mattress
    Put the ladder up where you want to go on the cactus
    Climb the ladder and bring a mattress up to where you want to go
    Put the mattress on the cactus and stand on it
    Climb down and go to the hospital

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